coherence
a book in progress - a study in motion - an open invitation
the question that started this
Two people go through something nearly identical. Same kind of loss, same general circumstances, similar resources on paper. One finds their footing within a year. The other is still searching three years later.
Most people assume the difference is resilience. Or strength. Or the right attitude.
This research suggests something different. The difference is usually timing. What was available to each person, and when. What had to come first before anything else was possible. What the structure of their life allowed, and what it quietly prevented.
That gap, between what someone was ready for and what their circumstances actually permitted, is what this book is about.
what the research is finding
When a life gets knocked sideways, rebuilding doesn't happen all at once. It happens in pieces, in a sequence, and that sequence is shaped by forces most people never name and rarely examine.
Some of those forces are internal. Some are structural. Some come down to who was in your corner at the right moment. Some come down to whether you had enough margin in your life to take the next step at all.
The people who rebuild most successfully aren't necessarily the strongest or the most determined. They're often the ones whose timing worked in their favor, sometimes by their own design, and sometimes by luck they didn't know they had.
This research is working to understand how that actually happens. The goal is a book that gives people language for what they moved through, and a clearer map for what comes next.
what participation involves
One video conversation. About an hour, sometimes longer. You talk, I listen and ask questions.
There's nothing to prepare. No expertise required. The most useful thing you can bring is a willingness to talk honestly about how your experience actually went, not only the version that makes sense in retrospect, but also what it felt like while you were in it.
Your name will never appear in any published work. You'll receive a participant code that keeps your identity separate from everything you share, and you can step back from the research at any time.
who this is for
You've been through something that changed how you see your own life. A divorce. A death. Losing a job or a career that defined you. A health crisis. A faith that dissolved. A relationship that ended and took your sense of direction with it. The slow, quiet unraveling of a life that used to feel solid.
It doesn't matter whether it happened recently or years ago. It doesn't matter whether you feel like you've figured it out or you're still working on it. What matters is that something shifted, and you're willing to talk about how the rebuilding actually went.
how to participate
Fill out the form and I'll be in touch to set up a time to talk.